Changes
by sofia-lindsay
Summary: A JJ/Emily story about JJ's upcoming storyline. Don't like Femslash or Spoilers? Don't Read This.
1. “Oh Wow… Congratulations?”

**Title:** Changes  
**Author:** sofialindsay  
**Fandom:** Criminal Minds  
**Pairing:** JJ/Emily  
**Disclaimer**: As always, if I owned the characters, we'd be watching instead of reading  
**Rating: **R  
**Warning: **Spoilers for the upcoming episodes. Translated: If you don't want to know what's happening on the show, don't read this!  
**Summary:** Lesbian Drama at It's Finest  
**AN: **I will opening admit that this is my way to justify the upcoming JJ storyline.  
**AN2:** Thanks to my beta, darkbardzero! Cuz God knows this sparked several freak-outs on my part!

JJ looked down at the positive test, and felt the tears welling up in her eyes. This was not supposed to happen. She was smarter than this. What about her job…she had worked so hard to make her life into something, just for this to happen over her own stupidity.

"Oh my God…I'm pregnant," she whispered to no one, only needing to hear the words to confirm her fears.

It was three in the morning, she should have been asleep, but the questions had won out in her mind. Now, an emotional train wreck and still in her pajamas, she grabbed her wallet and gun and ran out of her apartment to her car. Thirty minutes later, she found herself knocking on the door to Emily's condo, with tears streaming down her face.

"JJ, what's wrong? It's three in the morning."

Anyone else would have been angry to be woken at four in the morning, a Saturday morning no less, by a crying co-worker, but Emily was terrified when she saw the blonde was crying. Terrified in ways the Glock in her hand, and FBI training, couldn't combat.

"I screwed up Emily. I don't know what to do."

Without hesitation, JJ walked into the outstretched arms and buried her face into the soft skin at Emily's neck. With Emily's strong arms wrapped around her, she felt a sense of calmness and…safety. Something she never felt with him.

"Jennifer, talk to me. What's wrong? Did something happen…?"

"I'm pregnant."

Emily's heart dropped to the pit of her stomach. It sank even farther when the fresh tears made new paths down the younger woman's face. This confirmed it; JJ would never be hers. All the fantasies and dreams she had were just that. Merely dreams that would never come true.

"Oh. Wow…. Congratulations?"

The glare JJ gave her made her realize congratulations, in fact, were not in order.

Biting her lip, she tried to piece together what was missing here. Most women saw pregnancy as a celebration, not as a reason to wake your co-worker at four in the morning, crying.

"I don't love him…I can't even stand him. And I'm pregnant with his baby."

Pulling the blonde to the couch to sit, Emily felt the bile rise in her throat as her worse fear came unbidden to her mind. "JJ, did he…did you…were you willing?"

"Em, calm down. I wasn't raped. It's nothing like that. He was a warm body to go to after a hard case. I think he loves me though, and I can't return that love. When he finds out, he's going to want to get married. I can't do that, it'd kill me."

JJ had seen the fear and protectiveness rise within the dark eyes, and knew Emily would willingly enlist Garcia's help to find and punish anyone who hurt her. After hearing her words, a look of confusion and hurt filled the brunette's face, and JJ knew she was trying hard not to profile her.

_You could have come to me. _Emily thought ruefully, but kept that thought silent. "How long have you known you are pregnant?"

"Um…about an hour."

"And I am the first person you came to?" came Emily's incredulous reply. Seeing JJ nod, she continued, "Okay…I think it's good you don't want to get married to him just because you're pregnant. Does he know you don't love him?"

The blonde looked at the floor and fiddled with the frayed edge of one of the throw pillows.

"I think he does. I talk in my sleep. I've called out for someone else during the night after hard cases."

_And there's the knife in my heart. _"Okay. So you're pregnant by one guy…and in love with another? Call me crazy JJ, but why didn't you just go to the second guy to begin with?"

The look and tone in Emily's voice was enough to make JJ crack half of a smile, as she figured since her career was essentially over, she might as well go out with a bang.

"Because there is no second guy." She rolled her eyes at Emily's look of half confusion and half shock. "Come on Emily, don't tell me you always play it straight. Not with the way you wear your gun and that watch of yours. I know better. I've even watched you checking out women when we've gone to bars."

The brunette's jaw dropped as she stared at her blonde friend before recovering and virtually squeaking out, "Hey! My sexuality isn't up for discussion here! You're pregnant by a guy, and in love with a woman?"

"That would be about right," JJ replied as a fresh wave of tears started once again and she found her hand encased in Emily's slightly larger one.

"Honey, call me even crazier, but how did you get into this…mess? And does she know you love her? Better yet, does he know you are in love with someone else? A woman no less?"

JJ sighed as she ran her hand through her hair. "It is a mess, I know. She doesn't know I love her, and I don't know how to tell her. It hit me one night while lying next to him. He and I aren't…weren't exclusive, but I felt like I was being unfaithful because I'd close my eyes and picture her next to me. He told me that after we got back from Milwaukee I started talking in my sleep. I was calling out for her."

"JJ, you know you have options…with both the baby and with her. You could always tell her how you feel."_ And there's the twist of the knife into my heart. JJ, with a baby and another woman or man, I'd rather face an unsub unarmed than face that image._

"Emily, I can't have an abortion. It's not me, surely you know that. And I can't tell her. Not now that I'm pregnant."

"What about adoption? And she deserves to know JJ. If she's a true friend, even if she's straight, she won't turn against you. Obviously this is eating you up inside."

JJ clenched her hand around the pillow. "I can't give my baby up to someone I don't know. She hasn't…won't turn against me for being pregnant. But having feelings for her is a whole different thing. She's always there for me. I can't loose that."

_Oh God. _Emily had noticed JJ's slip up. Her profiler side was waking up now, and the light at the end of the tunnel was becoming clearer. JJ hadn't looked her in the eyes since she arrived, and the brunette knew she could read JJ better than anyone through her eyes. The younger woman had flinched when she had taken her hand. The case that had caused JJ to call out for her mystery woman was the one she had been injured during. The pieces were falling into place too fast, causing her head to spin and her heartbeat to quicken.

"I thought you said I was the first to know?"

"You are. Surely you don't think I make it a habit of waking up all my friends during all hours of the night?"

"You said 'she hasn't' turned against you. So she already knows you're pregnant."

It came out more of a statement than a question, and JJ felt all the blood rush to her head. Denial was the first thing to come to mind. Flight or fight was the second. Knowing she didn't have the heart to fight with the brunette, she went with the first idea.

"It was a slip-up. It didn't mean anything."

"Or did it? Come on JJ, I'm a profiler. Don't give me the same excuses I hear at work."

The brunette agent was shocked when JJ pulled her hand free, jumped up and began pacing the room furiously.

"Emily, I can't do this right now. I'm pregnant. I have to tell him, and fend off his marriage proposals without telling him I can't even stand the sight of him! I'll never love him because I'm in love with someone else! I'm going to have to leave the BAU…Garcia, Morgan, Reid, Hotch and you. Even Rossi! My family."

_Damn. Is it possible for her hormones to already be out of whack? I left that wide open for her, and she attacked me._ Emily shook the thought aside and walked to the younger agent. "JJ look at me…. Jennifer, look at me _please_. You're not going to have to leave the BAU. We'll get through this okay? You'll _never _lose me, I promise."

JJ shook her head, refusing to look at the brunette. "No, Emily. You don't understand. How can I do my job and still be a single mother? A single gay mother who happened to make the worse mistake of her life, simply because she couldn't have who she wanted."

"Jayj, you're overreacting. You have several months before you start showing. You don't have to decide anything today. Technically, you don't even have to tell him you're pregnant. Promise me you'll take time to think about things logically before you decide anything? And I want you to be honest with me about something."

"Fine. I promise. I'm always honest with you…unfortunately." JJ deadpanned.

Emily half-smiled at JJ's lack of enthusiasm. "You flinched when I touched your hand. You won't look me in the eyes, and the Milwaukee case was the one I was hit upside the head during. You started calling my name out, didn't you?"

She watched as the blonde walked to the window and stared out across the capital. She had just about given up hope of an answer when she saw JJ's shoulders start to shake. Standing, she quietly walked across the room and placed her hands on the blonde's shoulders.

"That's why you came here, isn't it? You know you'd never lose me…that I'd be here for you always. Deep down, I think you even know that your feelings are returned wholeheartedly, and that terrifies you. Especially now. Tell me if I'm wrong JJ; don't let me believe something that's not true. Don't let me get hurt by delusions."

JJ only cried harder, trying to exorcise every lost dream and what might have been from her system. She felt Emily turning her, but couldn't fight it, choosing to burrow into the soft neck again, her lips resting right above the older woman's pulse point. She felt the brunette's fingers comb through her hair, soothing her, and somehow pulled up the courage to give a slight nod, hoping Emily wouldn't detect it.

The brunette felt a slight nod come from the younger woman and her breath caught in her throat.

"Jennifer… please look at me." Sure enough, her voice was enough to pull JJ out of her neck to finally look at her. "Am I right?"

"Emily, I'm sorry. For so many things. I never should have come…"

"Stop! Just answer me. Is it me? Yes or no."

The tone is Emily's voice shocked JJ; she had never had the profiler use such a forceful tone towards her before. Turning towards the capital again, she sighed as she whispered her reply.

"Yes."

"You won't lose me. Let me help you get through this please?"

JJ nodded as Emily turned her back around, but with the older woman's face so close to hers, her eyes diverted on a path of their own, seemingly fascinated by the profiler's lips. She found herself feeling guilty for wanting to kiss Emily; especially knowing it would have to be a one-time thing. There was no way she would ever saddle her problems, or in this case child, onto the other woman.

The voices in Emily's head told her what she was about to do was a big no-no, but as she turned JJ back towards her, the look of hopelessness combined with want in the younger agent's usually baby blue eyes broke her resolve. Leaning forward almost involuntarily, she broke the silence once again.

"This is probably going to be very stupid of me, but I really want to kiss you. I know things are a mess, we'll deal with them come morning light. Tell me no, and I'll walk away from this and remain your friend. Regardless, I want to be there for you."

"Emily…god I want you to so bad…but you can't." Tears welled up in JJ's eyes again, as she ran her fingers up the side of the brunette's face, pausing to trace the faint scar that remained from the Milwaukee case.

Leaning into JJ's touch, Emily closed her eyes. "Why can't I?"

"One kiss wouldn't be enough. Tonight wouldn't be enough. I couldn't look at you every day and know I've kissed you once, but can't again."

Throwing caution to the wind and praying she wasn't about to get slapped or worse, Emily leaned down, making sure to give other woman an opportunity to back out if need be.

"Who ever said it would be a one-time deal, JJ?"

Emily's hands found JJ's waist as a hand found it's way to tangle in her dark hair and a soft moan escaped from the blonde as their lips met. There was no urgency in the kiss as both women took the time to explore one another. Finally, lack of air forced them apart.

"JJ…"

"Emily…"

Emily smiled nervously and motioned for JJ to go ahead. "I know I should apologize, but I'm not sorry we kissed."

"Neither am I." Emily's husky reply sent chills down JJ's spine and her brown eyes were almost black with desire. Upon noticing the love that was embedded in the dark orbs, JJ shuddered again.

"Please, please Emily, don't look at me like that. Regardless of how much I want you and want to be with you, I'm pregnant. I can't and won't put you through that. I love you too much to do that to you. I love you too much to start a relationship with you while I'm pregnant with another's child."

Emily pulled her hands away from JJ and leaned against the window while staring out across the city. With dawn breaking, JJ finally noticed the tears building in the dark eyes as Emily tried to form a sentence without letting them fall.

"I'm sorry for putting you in this situation. I should have kept better control on my emotions. You're not something that's easily compartmentalized, JJ. I know there's going to be rough times for you ahead. I meant what I said though. I want to be there for you as a friend. And I promise, I won't…come on to you again."

JJ was sure she felt her heart crack when she heard Emily's last sentence, not so much from the words, but rather from the pain her voice carried.

"Emily, honey please. You didn't do anything wrong. I wanted that just as much as you did, if not more. Whether I want to or not, I'm going to have a baby. That by far is not the way we should start out a relationship."

"In an ideal world, no it's not. But this is us. Regardless, it doesn't matter. Your mind is made up. I'm sorry."

Emily willed the tears not to fall. She couldn't break down in front of JJ; she couldn't let the blonde know how deep her feelings ran. Her bids were unsuccessful, as the tears broke free and fell.

"Em, please don't cry. Yell at me for how stupid I was. Threaten to kick his ass. I don't care. Just please, I can't stand to see you cry and know I'm the cause of it."


	2. Do you not trust me, JJ?

**Title:** Changes (2/8)  
**Author:** sofialindsay  
**Fandom:** Criminal Minds  
**Pairing:** JJ/Emily  
**Disclaimer**: As always, if I owned the characters, we'd be watching instead of reading  
**Rating: **R  
**Warning: **Spoilers for the upcoming episodes. Translated: If you don't want to know what's happening on the show, don't read this!  
**Summary:** Lesbian Drama at its Finest  
**AN: **I will opening admit that this is my way to justify the upcoming JJ storyline. I'll admit I was worried about posting this, so many thanks to those of you who commented to tell me you enjoyed it.  
**AN2:** Thanks to my beta, darkbardzero! Cuz God knows this sparked several freak-outs on my part!  
**Archiving:** P&P, other's ask.

_3 months later_

"JJ, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

Emily released a heavy sigh ad JJ fidgeted uncontrollably in the seat next to her. She knew the blonde was nervous, but she was just as restless and wasn't as fidgety! It had been three months since they had kissed, and Emily could still feel the blonde's lips on her own. JJ was adamant about not having a relationship, and she had to respect that. Yet when JJ had asked her to come to her doctor's appointment, Emily had felt her heart jump a little. Now sitting in the empty doctor's office waiting room, she took advantage of the emptiness to try to get JJ to open up to her.

"Because you're fidgeting and you only do that when you're nervous."

"Emily, what did I tell you about profiling me?"

JJ sounded tired, and Emily knew from the dark circles under her eyes that she hadn't been sleeping well.

"Jayj, I'm not profiling. You're not sleeping, something's not right. What haven't you told me?"

The blonde sighed, and began playing with her watch, buying time to choose her words carefully.

"I've been thinking about the baby…about what I'm going to do."

"And…?"

"Please Emily, let's discuss this later. Not here at the doctor's office." JJ pleaded, knowing this would prove to be an emotional conversation for both of them. Giving her baby up for adoption would be hard on her, but she knew it would affect the brunette as well.

"Fair enough. While you're back there, I'm going to step into the hall and make a few calls. I should be back before you are out."

"Actually, I was hoping…would you come back with me? I just hate doctors and would feel better if you were there with me."

Emily smiled, "Sure. The phone calls can wait."

"Are you sure?" The younger woman knew Emily would jump through fire while drenched in gasoline if she asked her to, but wanted her to say it wasn't a problem.

"I'm sure." Emily noticed the blonde biting her bottom lip, and gently prodded her, "JJ, what is it?"

"I've been thinking about what I'm going to do. I don't think I have much of a choice except for give the baby up for adoption. I'm not ready to be a mother."

Before Emily could say anything, a third party made herself known.

"Ms. Jareau? Are you ready?"

JJ gave a hesitant nod, and the two women made their way to the door. Fifteen minutes later, Emily found herself learning more about pregnancy than she ever wanted to know from handouts the short woman who looked like she wasn't a day over twenty had given her. She was seemingly lost in her own world, when she heard Dr. Lang's tinny voice speak again.

"Now, Jennifer, this will be cold. If I knew how to make this stuff where it warmed, I'd be a millionaire. We're going to see if we can find the baby, so your partner might like to be next to you."

Emily waited for JJ to correct the doctor, but instead was surprised when JJ spoke to her and she could pick up the nervousness in it, "Emily? Do you want to see?"

The brunette mutely nodded and, still shell-shocked, walked to stand next to the blonde. A few short minutes later, she was enthralled at the sight on the monitor in front of them, and only dimly aware of JJ's hand in her own.

Thankfully, Dr. Lang took the cue to stand and address Emily, "I'll give you two a few minutes. Everything looks okay. There's a towel there to wipe off the gel, then you're free to go. Just make another appointment with the receptionist."

_So this is what it would feel like to have a family. _Emily felt the tears stinging her eyes and took a quick glance at JJ. She was shocked to see tears running down the blonde's face. "JJ, honey what's wrong?"

Emily pulled JJ into as much of an embrace as she could given their positions and began running her fingers through soft blonde hair. As JJ broke down in her arms, the brunette looked back at the life on the screen and finally made the decision that had been weighing on her mind for some time.

"I can't do this Emily. I'm not ready to be a mother, but I can't give my baby up. I don't know what to do!" JJ managed to get out between sobs, as she was clinging to Emily for all she was worth.

"JJ, look at me. I have a suggestion, but we need to discuss it when I take you home…Do you trust me?" Emily felt JJ's nod and continued, "Then you'll be fine. This will all be fine, I promise."

The ride to the blonde's home was quiet except for JJ's occasional sniffles. Emily was lost in her own thoughts, trying to find a way to break her idea to the younger woman. Truthfully, she was terrified. There was so many ways this could go, and only two were positive outcomes. Pulling into the driveway, she parked the car and turned to face the blonde.

"Do you want me to come in or…?"

"Please, come in. I don't want to be alone right now. Besides, we need to talk."

Emily nodded as she followed the blonde into the house. Once inside, she nervously sat down on the couch, and motioned for JJ to take a seat as well. Quietly, she took in the woman before her. JJ's normally bright eyes were dull, with dark circles underneath them. She was slumped down on the couch, the usual confidence gone from her demeanor. Emily hated seeing her like this.

"You're not sleeping much, are you?"

"Not really…do you want anything to drink?"

"I'm fine. I guess we just need to talk…" Emily let her sentence trail off, not knowing where to go from there.

"We probably should. You… umm...you said you had a suggestion?"

Emily took a deep breath and hoped she wasn't about to make a huge mistake.

''I do…but I'm really not sure about this JJ. I don't want to upset you…"

"Emily, say whatever you were thinking, please. It has to be better than all of my ideas."

"Honestly, JJ. I'm not sure how to say this."

JJ scoffed, "You? At a loss for words? Come on Emily, I might be an emotional wreck right now, but I'm not an imbecile! Just say it!"

Emily sighed and bit her lip.

"Okay. If...if you're not ready to be a Mother, how would you feel about being an Aunt?"

The look of confusion on JJ's face would have been comical if Emily had not been a nervous wreck.

"I don't understand...What are you saying?"

"I mean…what I mean is…damnit…if I…then you could still…"

Emily was mumbling now, and JJ's head tilted to the side as the proverbial light bulb came on.

"Emily. Are you saying…are you talking about adopting the baby?"

"Yes. That's what I was trying to say." Seeing JJ open her mouth to speak, Emily held up her hand. "Wait JJ, listen. You know how much I want a child, but it's like you pointed out before, I'm gay. I've considered adopting before, but if I adopt your child, you could still be a part of their life. We wouldn't have to tell the child unless we wanted to."

An uneasy silence crept in, as JJ was processing the older woman's words. There was no way she was going to let Emily take on the responsibility of her actions.

"Emily, I can't let you take on something like this just because you're looking out for me. I know you love me, but I can't let you do this for me."

The brunette heard JJ's words, but another thought crept through to her mind. Biting her lip (which was becoming a common practice she realized), she hesitated briefly before speaking.

"I'm not doing it just for you JJ. You said you're giving the baby up for adoption, and I want a baby. Why can't I do this?"

"I just can't Emily."

Emily watched as JJ stood and walked across the room. "Are you planning on keeping it?"

"No. You know I can't. I'm not ready to be a mother."

The brunette's next question came out so soft and vulnerable that JJ barely heard it.

"Do you not trust me, JJ?"

JJ spun around to face the brunette. "How could you think that? I trust you with my life, not to mention my heart."

"I get it JJ, really. I'm probably not the best mother material out there. Just…the offer still stands. I have to go. There are a few phone calls I still need to make."

With a heavy heart, Emily stood and half-smiled towards the blonde. JJ knew the signs all too well; the tears were welling up in the brunette's eyes, and in her own as well. Emily was shutting her out, and walking out with her heart in the process.

Closing her eyes when she heard the door shut, JJ let her own tears fall as she cursed herself. "God, Jennifer. Could you be any more of an idiot?"


	3. Emily, honey, what's wrong?

**Title:** Changes (3/8)  
**Author:** sofialindsay  
**Fandom:** Criminal Minds  
**Pairing:** JJ/Emily  
**Disclaimer**: As always, if I owned the characters, we'd be watching instead of reading  
**Rating: **R  
**Warning: **Spoilers for the upcoming episodes. Translated: If you don't want to know what's happening on the show, don't read this!  
**Summary:** Lesbian Drama at its Finest  
**AN: **I will opening admit that this is my way to justify the upcoming JJ storyline. I'll admit I was worried about posting this, so many thanks to those of you who commented to tell me you enjoyed it. This post is for **raf51.  
****AN2:** Thanks to my beta, **darkbardzero**! Cuz God knows this sparked several freak-outs on my part! Oh, and for putting up with my complaining over the JJ-storyline, and my obsession with Paget Brewster.  
**Archiving:** P&P, other's ask.

_A week later._

Emily lay on her couch with a tumbler of Coke and Rum beside her. It had been a trying week, and she just wanted to forget the uneasy tension between the press liaison and herself. JJ had yet to tell anyone at work she was pregnant, and Emily had caught her running out of morning meetings all week. She knew the morning sickness was setting in, but what could she do? JJ didn't seem to want her help at all now. Maybe that was what hurt the most.

The brunette knew she could deal with the cold shoulder treatment from a friend. What she didn't know if she could handle was the constant ache in her heart that stemmed from the blonde. A knock on her door pulled her from her thoughts. Standing, she slowly walked over and opened it to see a cautious-looking JJ on the other side.

"Hey…can I come in?"

Emily stood aside and allowed the younger agent to enter, desperately hoping this confrontation would end better than the last. She saw JJ reach for the tumbler and finally found her voice.

"Don't drink that."

Shocked, JJ set the glass back down. She often would drink after Emily, and vice versa, and nothing was ever said.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. Me finishing off your Coke for you has never been an issue in the past…I guess things are changed now."

"JJ, I don't mind sharing a drink, you know that. But it's not just Coke. You can't drink the Rum in it. It could hurt your baby. Let me get you a plain Coke."

JJ watched as the brunette walked into the kitchen to get her a drink. Something had to be wrong for Emily to be drinking hard liquor. Emily handed her the cold beverage and glass, and sat down next to her.

"Em…why are you drinking? You only drink hard liquor when you're upset."

The older woman shrugged, "I've had a lot on my mind. You know how it is."

"You used to talk to me when you had a lot on your mind."

Emily gave a half-hearted smile, "Yeah, I did."

"So why won't you now?"

"JJ, don't do this."

"I thought we were friends, why won't you talk to me?"

"Friends? I'm not sure what the hell we are JJ, but I highly doubt it adds up to friends!"

Sitting back, Emily took a drink from her glass, and winced when the alcohol made it's way down her throat. She refused to look at JJ, knowing if she did she would be opening herself up to more pain.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" JJ's voice had rose several notches through her anger.

"Why are you even here? You made your feelings known last weekend. I'm not sure why you feel the need to rehash all of it again."

"I…maybe we should talk later. You're upset now."

"Gee, figure that one out all on your own?"

Any illusions JJ had about Emily being a funny drunk vanished in that moment, "Hey! That was way out of line. What the hell is wrong with you Emily?"

"You're what's wrong with me! You knew I had feelings for you! You asked me to go to the doctor with you, knowing how bad I want a baby… how much I love you. You still went to him months ago knowing I loved you! Hell, you're probably still going to him! You run to me when you're in trouble, but you won't let me help. You don't trust me enough to help. So there's the truth. You're my goddamn problem!"

"You can't really believe any of that. I haven't even talked to the guy since I told him I was pregnant! He wants nothing to do with me or the baby." JJ tried, knowing the profiler was already on the road to being wasted with the way she was downing her coke-rum combo. She sighed when all she got was a shrug for a reply. "Emily I know you care. You have to understand that I can't let you uproot your entire life over my mistake."

Emily scoffed, "Yes JJ, it's all about your _mistake. _Do you even see your child as anything other than a mistake that never should have happened?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, and she heard JJ gasp, Emily felt guilty.

"My child isn't a mistake. I was stupid for turning to a guy though. Getting pregnant before I was ready to be a mother! That was my mistake. That and being in love with you and not telling you! You don't know what it's like to live knowing that you could have someone that actually wants you, but you're knocked up so you can't be with her. I told you I trusted you. I trust you with my own life, there's no one I'd trust more with my child's."

Emily set the glass down and turned towards JJ, "Then why won't you let me do this?"

"Honey, this isn't about trust. It's not even about us. Don't you realize what you're offering? This is a child, not a car you can try out and take back if it doesn't work out."

"Duh, JJ. I know that. I want this for all of us. I want a baby. You said yourself you weren't ready to be a mom. Eventually the child will want to know who their biological mother is. Plus, this would allow you to know your baby is safe and well. We all win here JJ."

JJ could tell Emily had put a lot of thought into this. "You're serious. You are dead set on this, aren't you?"

Emily nodded her head. "If I don't adopt your baby, I'll adopt someone else's. At least if it's yours, I know the mother's background. And at least I would always be able to have a part of you."

"You really want this? And you're not just doing it to get me out of a bind?" JJ knew Emily was drunk, and decided not to draw attention to her last slip of information.

"You know me. You know what I could offer a child. I'm not saying I'd be the perfect mother, but I want that chance. I'm going to do this either way Jayj."

"Em, I've never doubted you'd be a good mother, I just don't want you to have to pay for my mistake."

Emily bit her lip as she felt her eyes stinging. "Maybe it's partially my fault too. You wouldn't have gone to him if I had said something sooner. It should have been me you were turning to. But that has nothing to do with the baby. If you don't want this child, JJ, I do. Please, don't put it up for adoption with an agency. Let me adopt it, please?"

"Honey, don't do that. I could have said something sooner to you. It's like you said, I knew you felt something."

"JJ…"

"Emily, are you sure about this? Absolutely sure?"

"Yes, I want to adopt your baby." Emily finally turned to face JJ, and the blonde could see the sincerity in the dark orbs.

"Okay. But my child isn't going to be raised by someone who drinks away her problems. Give me the glass."

Tears sprang to Emily's eyes as she realized what JJ was saying. Without a word she handed the tumbler over to the younger woman, but when JJ stood to take it into the kitchen, Emily finally allowed them to fall.

When JJ returned, she was surprised to see Emily crying. She had no idea this baby…_her _baby, had meant so much to the brunette.

_At least I would always be able to have a part of you. _

JJ's hand flew to her mouth when she realized what Emily thought through the implications of her words. The brunette thought, regardless of what she ever did, they would never be together. That in itself brought up more questions than JJ cared to deal with at the moment. Without a second thought she took her seat beside Emily and pulled her into her arms.

"Emily, honey, what's wrong?"

"I…I can't explain it. I'm relieved and hurting at the same time. I fucking hate feeling like this!" Emily threw her hands up in surrender as she laid her head on JJ's shoulder.

"Does adopting my baby mean that much to you?" Feeling Emily's nod, she continued, "Em, this isn't easy for me either. I do love you, but it doesn't feel right to me to start a relationship with you since I'm pregnant. If we can get through this…"

Emily pulled out of JJ's arms and she let her words trail off. "No JJ, if we get through your pregnancy, and I adopt your baby, everything will stay the same. I want you so bad, I lay awake at night and remember our kiss. I can still taste your kiss. I know the morning sickness has set in, but I can't be there for you. You don't know how much that hurts me."

"So you think by adopting my child, you'll always have a part of me with you?"

JJ's tone wasn't one of accusation, nor one of contempt. She was merely stating a fact that was confirmed when Emily got to her feet and walked to the large window overlooking the city.

"The other day at the doctor, I felt like we were a family. Like it was you and I watching our baby on that monitor. That's what I wanted more than anything in this world. I've accepted that I can't have that, but you know I've toyed with the idea of a baby for a while. I want to see a child grow up here. I want to give him or her the Christmases and birthday parties I never had. I will never have my own child, but if the baby I raise as my own is yours, well, at least I would know that regardless of what happens in the future, I could look at him or her and be reminded of you."

Blaming the pregnancy, JJ cursed her hormones as tears began streaking down her face. Taking a moment to collect herself, she walked to the older woman and tentatively wrapped her arms around her waist.

"Emily, I'm not going anywhere. This is so confusing for me. I want you so much; hell, I love you so much it scares me. But the line between friends and more is a tad bit skewed right now."

Emily's hands involuntarily covered the smaller ones around her waist, "Just because you're pregnant…it doesn't make me want you any less. JJ, you drive me crazy. One minute I think I have a chance for something more than friends, the next you're running away from me."

"I know, and I'm sorry for all the mixed signals. Look at this from my point of view though…what would the point of you adopting my child, if I was going to be in a relationship with you? Em, we have to draw that line somewhere until the baby is born and we find a balance."

Emily turned in her arms to stare into the blue eyes. "If I didn't adopt it, would you be willing to start a relationship with me now?"

The blonde laughed, "Emily! Honey, listen to me, I love you. That's all I can give you right now. That and a promise of a chance in about six months. I hope that's enough."

"A chance in six months is better than no chance at all. And I promise you, no more drinking." Emily replied as she wrapped her arms around the younger woman.

The blonde smiled, "Okay then. Have your lawyer find out what all we need to do for the adoption. And you better practice your speech for your mother. Oh God! What are we going to tell the guys and Garcia?!"

Emily's eyes lit up with her smile. "Do you mean that? Are you really going to let me adopt?"

"Yes, there's no one I'd rather have raising my child. Plus it's like you said, I would kinda like to know how they are doing, and have a part in their life. You would be their mother though. I would never try to take that away from you."

A girlish squeal left Emily as she pulled JJ impossibly closer to her. "Thank you Jennifer. And you know you will always have a place in their life."

"Thank you too Emily. And um… can I erm… ask one other thing?" JJ looked into the dark eyes, knowing they would show if Emily was lying. "Are you…are you going to wait six months? I mean I don't expect you to be celibate, or stop dating or anything."

"Jennifer…"

When JJ's question registered in Emily's mind, the blonde watched as amusement filled the dark orbs. Her own mind barely registered when Emily's lips met hers for the second time.

JJ's hand tangled in the slightly taller woman's dark hair and she eagerly granted Emily's tongue access to her mouth. When Emily finally broke the kiss, a disappointed whimper escaped the younger agent.

"Jayj, I don't know how to say this but…there's no one else. There hasn't been since you. If I can't have you, I don't want a poor substitute. I'll wait the six months, longer if you need me to. God knows after the baby is born, my life will change, so you might not even want to be with me. But to be fair, and so the non-existence of my sex life isn't the only thing on the table…are you…I mean, I know pregnant women's hormones are all out of whack…"

"Honey, I'm not going back to him. As we saw last week, my hormones are already out of whack. I'm not going to turn to anyone else for...comfort. Don't worry, please?"

JJ watched an unreadable expression settle on Emily's face, and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I should have been there for you before, but I wasn't. Promise me that before you turn to someone else, you'll come to me first. I love you; I would rather spend one night with you, than have to live with the knowledge you were with someone else while in love with me."

JJ couldn't help but lean forward to gently kiss the slightly flustered agent again. "Em, you aren't to blame for my actions. These next few months are going to be very trying on both of us…by the time this is over with, it may be that you don't want me anymore. Let's just cross those bridges as we come to them."

"Okay. Can I still be there for you though? I don't want to crowd you, but I don't want you to have to go through this alone…and I'd kinda like to know what's going on with the baby…"

Placing her fingers over the soft lips, JJ quieted the nervous woman. "I want you there for me. And I would never stop you from going to the doctor's appointments with me. After all, you have every right to know what is going on. It's selfish of me, but I want to share this with you. I need you beside me all the way through this. And a kiss every now in then would be nice."

Emily laughed, "Ah, there's the truth. You just like the way I kiss. But thank you. And you know you'll be able to have as much of a role in the baby's life as you chose."

"Yeah, well, I'd like to know how well you do other things too, but that'll have to wait. I know you'd never keep me from the baby, and I thank you for that. Can we have a girl's night in and watch sappy old movies or something tonight?"

"Sure thing. I'll grab us some drinks and snack food, and you pick out the movie."

Ten minutes, and one agitated JJ later, they were seated on the couch watching an old movie Emily didn't even remember owning.

"I can't believe you're making me drink juice!" The blonde complained for what had to be the hundredth time.

"I'm sorry! I have no caffeine-free drinks. I promise I'll pick some up tomorrow for when you're over."

"Why can't I just have the good stuff?" the young woman moaned pitifully.

"JJ! Caffeine is bad for the baby! Did you not read the papers the doctor gave you?"

"I looked over them. I certainly didn't memorize them like you did! And seriously! Doesn't this place you live in have room service or something?"

Emily chuckled as she turned her attention back to the movie, "No Jayj, they don't."

Their friendly, flirtatious banter was back and both women relaxed. An hour later, Emily found herself on her back, with a snoozing JJ cuddled into her side.

_Maybe this is possible. We love each other, so this should be possible. I'm adopting her baby; she'll be around a lot more. If I can just get her to lose the caution, maybe we won't have to wait six months; maybe I can have that family after all. Oh come on, this is Jennifer Jareau. She's not going to change her mind. But she loves me. That won't change either._

With the thought of JJ loving her foremost in her mind, Emily tightened her hold on the blonde and drifted off to sleep.


	4. PRENTISS, STAND DOWN!

**Title:** Changes (4/8)  
**Author:** sofialindsay  
**Fandom:** Criminal Minds  
**Pairing:** JJ/Emily  
**Disclaimer**: As always, if I owned the characters, we'd be watching instead of reading  
**Rating: **R (Minor sex scene)  
**Warning: **Spoilers for the upcoming episodes. Translated: If you don't want to know what's happening on the show, don't read this!  
**Summary:** Lesbian Drama at its Finest  
**AN: **I will opening admit that this is my way to justify the upcoming JJ storyline. I'll admit I was worried about posting this, so many thanks to those of you who commented to tell me you enjoyed it.  
**AN2:** Thanks to my beta, darkbardzero for putting up with my near-constant freak-outs while writing this. Oh, and for putting up with my Paget obsession.  
**Archiving:** P&P, other's ask.

_3 Weeks Later_

"I told Hotch."

Emily looked up from the stack of paperwork in front of her when JJ perched on the edge of her desk. She smiled when she noticed the slight bump that was becoming noticeable on the blonde's thin form. They were the only two around, so she felt liberated to openly check out the other woman.

"How much did you tell him?"

"I told him I was pregnant, but giving the baby up for adoption to a friend." JJ averted her eyes from the dark orbs, gaining suspicion from the profiler.

"What did he say?"

"He um…wanted to know what you thought about it…"

The confusion on Emily's face was priceless. "What? Why would I have a say…?"

"He erm…thought we were together. He was about to call you in and congratulate both of us, until I told him the situation. He does know you are the friend though. He said he'd talk to you about it, and make sure you got time off when it was needed."

"Oh. Well I'd say that went better than we had hoped."

JJ watched with trepidation as the brunette's look of confusion changed into one that was unreadable. Reaching across the distance, she covered Emily's hand with her own.

"Em, it doesn't bother me. You know I love…"

"So I guess this is Emily?"

Emily jumped up as an unfamiliar male voice broke through JJ's sentence. Her right hand automatically went to rest on the butt of her gun as she saw the fear rise in JJ's eyes.

"Yes, I'm Emily Prentiss. And you are?"

"Rick Goldman. Under any other circumstances, I'd say it was nice to meet you."

Emily immediately decided she didn't like the dark-haired man one bit and her posture straightened, "I would say the same, except I don't know who you are, or what you want with me."

"Rick, what do you want?" JJ's voice cut through the tension, and she placed her hand on the small of Emily's back, hoping her presence would calm the older woman. She could tell the older woman was seething and knew this wouldn't end well. Grabbing her Blackberry with her other hand, she quickly sent Hotch a text.

Rick's eyes appraised her body; further fueling Emily's anger when his eyes lingered on the baby bump that was visible if you knew to look for it. "I just came to see if you really were pregnant. Of course, that's not my baby. There's no way I'd be associated with the likes of you." Turning his look to Emily, he smirked, "Although it's a shame you are like her. I wouldn't mind teaching you a few things. I have a few tricks with cuffs too, ya know. It really wasn't JJ's thing, but you seem to…"

Before Emily could open her mouth, JJ dropped her Blackberry and moved in front of the slightly taller woman.

"Rick, stop acting like you're God's gift to women, and stop looking at Emily like she's eye candy for you. She's too good for you. Just leave before you get in over your head. As for the cuffs, only in your twisted dreams! And for God's sake, stop calling me!" JJ stopped mid-rant when she felt Emily's hands on her shoulders, pulling her away from him and moving her back to her seat on the edge of the desk.

"JJ, the baby. This stress isn't good for the baby. Please, calm down."

"Oh, isn't that sweet? Let me tell you Emily, did you know she was calling out for you? That she was sleeping with me, and thinking of you?" Rick smirked as he placed his hand on Emily's shoulder in a much too tight hold, "Do you think you'd ever be able to live up to that?"

Emily mentally counted to ten, before looking into JJ's blue eyes, and quietly whispering, "I'm sorry, honey."

Before JJ could register what was happening, the brunette agent spun around and had the larger man pinned against the wall. He was struggling, but was no match for a trained FBI Agent.

"I don't know how you managed to get in here, but this is your only warning. Stay away from JJ. And if you value your manhood, you'll never lay a hand, or eye, on me again. Now get the hell out of here."

Emily released her hold and turned back towards JJ. She knew Rick was cocky, and the look on JJ's face was enough to tell her he was ready to even the score. Within seconds, she had sidestepped his blow, kneed him in the stomach and had him pinned up against the wall again.

"PRENTISS! STAND DOWN!! What the hell is going on?" Hotch's voice broke through the scuffle as he rounded the corner with Morgan in tow. Morgan saw a strange man take a swing at Emily and ran to help her. Less than a minute later, Rick was cuffed and being held in Morgan's strong grip.

"Someone tell me what is going on before I start press charges against this man for assaulting one of my agents, and Prentiss, I'll find something to do with you!"

Rick scoffed, "This bitch attacked me. She forced herself upon my woman too! Now she's brainwashed JJ into thinking she's one of those…those…"

"Lesbians?" JJ supplied for him, almost laughing at his look of disdain. "No Rick, that wasn't Emily. That was Jenny McNally during my freshmen year of college!"

"You're a fucking whore who doesn't even know who the father of your baby is! And you're letting a dyke raise it! Jumping back and forth between women and men? You're a slut JJ!"

Hotch had to bite back a chuckle at JJ's explanation, but barely had time to recover and reach out to wrap an arm around Emily's midsection when she lunged at the guy again when he began running off his mouth.

"THAT'S ENOUGH! JJ, take Emily home. I don't want to see either of you until Monday morning, and then you both better be in my office first thing." Seeing the younger woman nod, he turned his attention to Morgan, "And take this sorry excuse for a man into the conference room for the time being."

Morgan pulled the resisting man to the nearest conference room while Emily was still fighting against Hotch, and JJ could see the anger in her eyes. JJ sent a silent thanks to Hotch and wrapped her arm around the brunette's waist. "Emily, honey let's go."

The ride in to Emily's condo was silent. Emily stared at the window and replayed the morning in her mind. Rick's words had struck closer to home than she cared to admit, but she refused to cry in front of the blonde again. She was angry, with both the blonde and herself, so silence was best. She knew she couldn't deny that as soon as the cocky man had started insulting the younger agent, a protective streak she didn't even know she possessed had been triggered.

_Who are you kidding? In your mind she's having your baby. You're not going to let anyone hurt her. If Hotch and Morgan hadn't showed up, you'd probably have killed that guy. And what did JJ ever see in that jerk anyways?_

JJ took her eyes off the road and glanced at the brunette when she heard a deep sigh come from the profiler. Her heart was racing, and she knew they needed to talk, but that was best to be at home for. She had been shocked when the other agent had stood up to Rick on her behalf. If she was really honest with herself, she had to admit it had been quite the experience to see Emily in action again.

_It must be my hormones…I knew this would happen eventually. Seeing her like that is always a turn-on, but God, she's always beautiful. She was so protective of me. If that had been anyone else, I would be offended. But with her, it's different. She wants this…me… more than she has let on…more than she'd ever admit to._

Her thoughts were cut off as she pulled into the parking lot and shifted the car into park.

"Em, let's go inside and talk, please?" Seeing Emily reach for the door handle, JJ stepped out of the car as well and followed the taller woman up to her condo.

Once inside, she was stunned when, without a word, Emily walked directly to the kitchen and reached in the cabinet for a glass, and a bottle of alcohol, seemingly unaware of her promise.

"Em, the baby…"

The blonde watched as Emily's hands began to shake. A few short moments later, her shoulder's indicated she was crying. Walking over to the upset woman, JJ pulled the bottle from her hands and set it back on the counter.

"Come here baby," she whispered, pulling the crying woman to her. "Talk to me please? What's going on in that head of yours?"

Emily wrapped her arms around the blonde, and used the embrace to buy time to regain her composure. "I'm sorry I stepped in…please don't be angry. You were afraid of him, I could tell. I felt so protective of you, I can't explain it. If he had tried to hurt you…if he had tried to touch you, I think I would have killed the bastard."

JJ pulled back so she could look into the expressive brown eyes that were filled with unshed tears. "Honey, why would I be angry with you?"

"It's not my place to be protective of you…you've made it clear nothing will come of us until after the baby is born. I respect your decision, but I love you so much JJ, I can't stand the thought of someone hurting you. I let my emotions cloud my judgment."

Emily closed her eyes when her blonde counterpart reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair back from her face. When she opened them again, she noticed for the first time the tears forming in the baby blue eyes.

"Maybe some of my decisions have been wrong. Emily, I love you. You risked your job today to protect me, something I know you've worked hard for. You were willing to lose your job, to protect me from some homophobic prick that I used to sleep with. I may have made bad decisions in the past, but I'm going to make one now that I won't regret."

JJ wrapped her fingers in the dark tresses and pulled Emily's head to meet her own. Unlike their previous kisses, this one was not soft and gentle. It was hungry, desperate even, and when they pulled back for air, JJ gasped when she saw Emily's eyes were almost black.

"JJ…if this isn't what you want, if I'm not what you want, then don't kiss me like that again. I can't do this today of all days. I want you so bad right now. I want to kiss you and I don't want to stop until I have you in my bedroom."

"Then kiss me..."

Emily searched blue eyes for reassurance before finding it and leaning down to kiss the younger agent again. Her hands found JJ's waist, and as she began guiding her towards the stairs that led to her second-floor bedroom, she couldn't think of anything except the nails lightly scratching the back of her neck.

At the bottom of the steps, she pulled back gasping for breath, "JJ honey, you have to watch the nails if you want to make it to the bedroom…"

"Emily, you talk too much. Especially when I have other things I want your mouth doing." JJ teased, holding her hand out for the older woman and starting up the steps.

Emily smiled as she pulled JJ towards her bedroom, kicking her shoes off as she went. Pausing to pull her in for another soul-searching kiss, she quickly found JJ was not in the mood for slow foreplay, as her back was soon against the door with the blonde unbuttoning her shirt hastily. Once that was accomplished, the blonde made short work of her belt and pants, leaving Emily naked and herself fully clothed.

"JJ…are ya sure you don't want to go any slower?" she teased while reaching down to grasp the edge of the blonde's shirt. Seeing the glare the blonde sent her way, she shook her head and pulled the shirt over JJ's head before going to work on the other woman's pants.

"Emily, don't fuck with me please? I need you so bad right now."

Emily raised an eyebrow at JJ's choice of words, but let it go as she pushed the blonde backwards onto the bed. As she covered the thin body with her own, and thrust her thigh between JJ's, she leaned down to whisper huskily in her ear. "Really? I thought you'd want me to fuck with you."

JJ whimpered as Emily began to move against her. "Baby please…I'm pregnant, horny and want you so damn bad. If you're smart, you won't play games."

Three hours of making love later, Emily lay on her side watching JJ sleep. The blonde had fallen asleep, but Emily was much too restless to sleep. She had just made love to the one woman she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, but the ache in her chest was still there.

_For all I know this could just have been sex to her. She's pregnant, she needed comfort and I have told her to turn to me. Surely JJ wouldn't be so cruel to give me this just to jerk it away from me? No, that's not Jayj. What did she ever see in that bastard anyways? Eh, dark hair, dark eyes. Like I even have to ask…but why was she so afraid of him?_

Lost in her thinking, Emily's hand reached out to cover JJ's stomach. Subconsciously, she wondered if she was feeling for any signs of the baby inside. A slightly paler hand covered her own, and she looked up to find blue eyes gazing at her.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

The blonde shook her head and gently traced Emily's knuckles with her fingers, "You didn't. I knew as soon as you touched me…you've been watching me sleep for awhile."

Emily blushed, "Sorry…you're beautiful Jayj. I couldn't help but look."

Silence fell between the two woman, as JJ moved up to prop herself up against the pillows. During their lovemaking, Emily had spent a great deal of time worshiping her stomach, and JJ had realized during the breaks between rounds, Emily's favorite place seemed to be with her head resting above the bump. A faint smile found it's way to JJ's lips as Emily shyly rearranged herself so she could rest her head on the blonde's stomach. Combing her fingers through dark tresses, JJ broke the silence.

"Do you want to know if it's a boy or girl?"

"Do you?" was her only reply.

"Emily, you have to pick out a name, decorate and all that good stuff. That's your decision."

Emily sighed. "I'll think about it…what was this JJ?"

JJ's fingers stilled in the dark hair when she heard the vulnerability in the profiler's voice. She tugged on the dark hair to make Emily look at her before she answered.

"This is what it is. We are what we should have always been. I didn't sleep with you just because I was horny, if that's what you're thinking."

"Does this mean you're willing to give me a chance now?"

"Honey, I've put you through hell I know. I had no idea how bad you wanted this. I love you, I never meant to hurt you…I pushed you away because of Rick."

Emily tensed, "Do you have to mention his name in our bed?"

JJ braced herself for the onslaught she knew was coming, "Honey, he's been harassing me. You have enough on your plate as it is, I didn't want to put that on your plate too."

"You told me you hadn't talked to him since you told him you were pregnant. You lied to me! You should have told me JJ! What has he done?"

Emily was now furiously pacing at the foot of the bed, much to JJ's amusement and enjoyment.

"I shouldn't have lied, I know. I never thought he would try anything like this. And I also know you want to go all kick-ass on him, and scream at me, but your anger would probably be more believable if you weren't pacing the floor naked…all you're doing now is serving as a means to turn your girlfriend on."

The pacing stopped and Emily looked at her enthusiastically, Rick and JJ's deceitfulness long forgotten.

"Do you mean that?"

"What? That you're turning me on? Yes, that's very true…" JJ's smirk left no doubt she was telling the truth.

"You said girlfriend…" Emily stated matter-of-factly while taking her seat next to JJ on the bed.

"Yes, I did. But nothing has really changed. You're still adopting my baby…we're still waiting until after the baby is born before we make any major decisions about our relationship. But we're both off the market, and we're with each other. Can you deal with that?"

Her only answer was Emily crushing her to her for a passionate kiss that left her not remembering the original question.


	5. Prentiss & Jareau My office now

**Title:** Changes (5/8)  
**Author:** sofialindsay  
**Fandom:** Criminal Minds  
**Pairing:** JJ/Emily  
**Disclaimer**: As always, if I owned the characters, we'd be watching instead of reading  
**Rating: **R  
**Warning: **Spoilers for the upcoming episodes. Translated: If you don't want to know what's happening on the show, don't read this!  
**Summary:** Lesbian Drama at its Finest  
**AN: **I will opening admit that this is my way to justify the upcoming JJ storyline. I'll admit I was worried about posting this, so many thanks to those of you who commented to tell me you enjoyed it.  
**AN2:** Thanks to my beta, darkbardzero for putting up with my near-constant freak-outs, my Paget obsession and my complaints that there are no new stories to read. hint hint  
**Archiving:** P&P, others ask.

_Monday Morning_

"Prentiss and Jareau. My office now."

The two agents in question looked at each other and solemnly followed Hotch to his office. Taking their seats, Emily tried hard not to seem too nervous as she looked across to JJ. The blonde was calmly waiting for Hotch to say the first word.

"I have no idea what Friday morning was about, nor do I really care to. JJ, all I can say is I would have hoped you had better taste in men!"

"You and me both!" Emily snickered, but went silent when her boss leveled his glare on her.

"And you Prentiss! I am appalled you would assault someone in the middle of our Headquarters. However, given JJ's situation, I understand you felt the need to protect her, so I'm letting it go."

"Um..excuse me? I'm still in the room. I may have horrible taste in men, and may be pregnant, but I still have a gun. And I'm still a better shot than either of you!"

Hotch blinked a few times before shaking his head and continuing, "As your boss, I am taking no action to split my team up unless you make me. Another instance like Friday, and I'll be forced to do something. Off the record and as your friend, congratulations. Here's a little something, that you are never to mention again to anyone and don't ask how I got it."

The man handed a confused JJ a few sheets of paper, causing Emily to become concerned when JJ's hand flew to her mouth as she silently handed it over to the brunette.

"Hotch, he signed away his rights? How…?"

The older man shrugged, "It seems you were quite the influence on him, Prentiss. The security feed from Friday also went missing…it seems that there was a computer glitch that lasted a few hours before Garcia could get it fixed."

"Thank you." JJ quietly replied, "I'll be sure to thank her too."

"Don't mention it. We protect our family, JJ. Sometimes that calls for bending rules. You're both excellent agents and I refuse to lose either of you. Also, you'll both make excellent mothers, and our little family is looking forward to having a little Prentiss-Jareau offspring."

Emily and JJ both looked at each other, waiting for someone to speak up. Finally Emily took the initiative, "Hotch, we're not raising the baby together. I'm adopting it when JJ gives birth."

The older man just smiled, "Sure. Whatever you say Prentiss. You're both still going to make excellent mothers."

Walking out of his office, Emily turned to the younger woman, "What do you think that was about?"

JJ rolled her eyes, "Emily, to be such a brilliant profiler, sometimes you are kind of slow on the uptake!"

Emily stood with her hands on her hips and a sexy pout on her lips. "Fine! Then what did he mean, Genius?"

"Oooh, lover's quarrel already? Way to go Jayj!"

"Garcia!" Emily squeaked out, "What the hell is going on with everyone?! Why does everyone think JJ and I are together?"

The look the technical analyst gave her was priceless, "After you kicking that guy's ass Friday, I'm even afraid to look at JJ! Poor Reid refuses to be left in the same room alone with her! But JJ! Really? Dating that jerk? Even if he did sort of resemble a male version of Emily! And how could you not tell me you were pregnant?"

JJ took a step back, "Um…would you believe it slipped my mind?… I have to make a call to see about a case…yeah, that's right. Later Em!"

The two women laughed as JJ made a hasty exit before Emily turned her attention back to the eccentric analyst.

"How much is known from Friday?"

"Only what I allowed to be seen. The funniest thing happened you know, suddenly the computers just crashed, effectively erasing the feeds. It took me a good two hours to get it all straightened out. But I see everything remember? You know JJ is like my sister. Thank you for not letting that jerk get to her. But Emily, if you hurt her or run out on her and her baby, don't think I can't make your life miserable."

Garcia noticed Emily's expression subtly change. "Garcia, JJ and I aren't raising the baby together. Why does everyone assume we're doing this together?"

"You mean the two of you aren't together? Girl, we've had bets on the two of you for the past year! Damnit, now I have to give Morgan back his 200!!"

Emily's eyes clouded over, "You bet 200 on JJ and I? Only you would do that. So everyone thinks Friday, combined with a bet you guys have, means that JJ and I are together?"

"Well that, and the huge hickey you have on your neck combined with the one JJ is wearing."


	6. “We should talk”

**Title:** Changes (6/8)  
**Author:** sofialindsay  
**Fandom:** Criminal Minds  
**Pairing:** JJ/Emily  
**Disclaimer**: As always, if I owned the characters, we'd be watching instead of reading  
**Rating: **R  
**Warning: **Spoilers for the upcoming episodes. Translated: If you don't want to know what's happening on the show, don't read this!  
**Summary:** Lesbian Drama at its Finest  
**AN: **In celebration of my last final today, here's Chapter 6. We're back to drama, as opposed to the humor my muse felt like adding into Chapter 5. I swear, she refuses to let me have a serious fic! Is it possible to have sappy drama? scratches head  
**AN2:** Thanks to my beta, darkbardzero for putting up with my near-constant freak-outs, my Paget obsession and my complaints that there are no new stories to read.  
**AN3: **Thanks to csiladies, calliopesmuse, Steppenwolf29 and all the others who are reading.  
**Archiving:** P&P, others ask.

_2 Months Later_

"Are you ready to find out what you're having?"

"Yes, I want to know what we're having! Emily, I swear to you. I'm never having another baby! This kid is using my ribs as a soccer ball!"

Emily chuckled as a very pregnant JJ complained. They were going to find out the sex of the baby today, and Emily had noticed JJ seemed almost as happy as she was. They had spent the past month turning Emily's guest room into a nursery, and even lived through a battle over JJ wanting to paint the room pink (Emily had said hell no to that and instead went with a light green). JJ practically lived at her place now, so Emily hadn't brought up the adoption. She had been watching the younger woman, and was secretly beginning to wonder if JJ was having second thoughts about the adoption.

_This afternoon I have to talk to her. I can't adopt her baby if it's going to hurt her._

"JJ, you don't have to have another baby. Let's just get through this one okay?"

"Jennifer Jareau?" The nurse broke through their banter and Emily stood to help JJ up. "You must be her partner. You can come too, I'm sure you want to know what you're having as well."

Emily simply nodded; she had long ago given up trying to correct people who assumed JJ and she were together. Apparently JJ had the same idea, she noticed with optimism.

"Ladies, are we ready to see what we're having?"

Once again, Dr. Lang lathered JJ's stomach with the cold gel as Emily stood beside her and took the blonde's hand. After a few minutes of searching, the baby appeared on the monitor, and both Emily and JJ gasped.

"Is that…"

Dr. Lang smiled, "Jennifer, it appears you are having a daughter. Congratulations!!"

Emily's heart skipped a beat when JJ looked up at her with a huge smile on her face, "Hear that, Em? You should've painted the nursery pink after all!"

"I knew there was gonna be an 'I told ya so' was in there somewhere!"

The small doctor handed Emily printouts from the ultrasound, and wiped the gel off of JJ's stomach. "Make another appointment with my receptionist. Jennifer, make sure you avoid stress and no caffeine!"

The blonde rolled her eyes, "I know. Mother hen over here already makes sure of that. I'm not even allowed to eat a lot of chocolate!"

The whine in her voice had both Emily and Dr. Lang laughing. "Do what she says! Odds are, she's read more of the information I've given you than you have."

"Oh, you don't know the half of it," JJ muttered as the doctor left the room.

Emily laughed. It was true. Once the baby began to become more active and she could feel her move, JJ had experienced first hand what she had dubbed an "Emily freak-out." In the profiler's defense though, when kissing a path down your lover's body, just to get kicked in the face by a baby, well, that was enough to freak anyone out. The brunette had promptly stopped what she was doing; leaving JJ in a frenzy, to jump on the Internet to see if that was normal. That night JJ had also learned first hand that the best way to drive Emily out of her mind was to make her watch, but not touch.

The ride to Emily's condo was relatively silent until JJ reached across to intertwine her fingers with Emily's longer ones.

"We should talk."

_So this is it. She's going to tell me she's rethought the adoption. Well, at least I can still see the baby after it's born, I guess. _Emily swallowed the knot in her throat as she pulled into her parking spot, "I know Jayj. Let's get inside first, please?"

"Okay hon."

Five minutes later, they were both seated on the leather couch, waiting for the other to break through the silence.

"Have you thought about names?" JJ finally asked.

"I have a few ideas…but I kind of wanted your input on them."

JJ laughed, "Why? So the kid can blame me as well as you if she hates it?"

"That too I suppose."

Silence settled between them again, as JJ searched for the right words. "Emily, we need to talk about us…and about her."

"I know."

"Do you still want to adopt her?" JJ asked.

"Have you decided you want to keep her?" The brunette countered. Upon JJ's silence, she continued, "If you have, I understand. Just please tell me now."

Emily watched as the younger woman stood and walked to the window and wrapped her arms around her stomach.

"Do you remember what you told me the day of our fight a few months ago? You said you felt like we were a family when we first saw the baby and that you wanted to see a child grow up here. You said that's what you wanted. Emily, I want that too."

Walking up beside the younger agent, Emily sighed as she felt the pinprick of tears sting her eyes, "JJ, I won't force the adoption. She's your flesh and blood. If you want to keep her, I won't force the issue. I could never take your child away from you."

"Em, I can't take your daughter away from you either. You love this baby, just like you love me. I want that family you talked about."

Confusion was written across the brunette's face when she turned towards the younger blonde, "What?"

"I still want you to adopt her…Baby, I want us to be a family. I still don't think I'm ready to be a mother…but I think _we_ are. I want that family with you, but if you don't want it, I'll let you adopt her and I'll be an aunt."

"You mean you want a family with me? With a commitment and everything?"

JJ watched as emotions flashed across the beautiful face before landing on one of disbelief, and reached out to brush dark hair away from the eyes she loved to look into. "I'm not saying I want to fly to Canada and get married right away, but I've wasted too much time already with my indecisiveness. I want us to raise this baby together and I want you by my side for as long as you'll have me."

"Do you know you still talk in your sleep?"

Now it was JJ who was confused at Emily's sudden change of topic. "Huh?"

"You do. In the beginning it was nightmares were you would call out my name. I would wrap my arms around you and tell you I was there, and you'd calm down. Then it changed. Jennifer, who is Elizabeth?"

"Elizabeth? I have no idea…oh." Seeing Emily's raised eyebrow, JJ sighed, "It's your middle name Em."

"I know that. You started calling out for Elizabeth. You'd laugh and on occasion, cry. I know it wasn't me you were dreaming of."

"No. It wasn't…it was… our daughter."

Emily bit her lip as she tried to think of what to say. When she saw the tears streaming down her blonde partner's face, she settled on wrapping her arms around JJ and pulling her to her.

"JJ, honey, why didn't you tell me this was what you wanted?"

"Emily, I've given you so many mixed signals. You could have anyone, why would you want me after everything I've put you through? I pushed you away for how many months, why would you believe me if I suddenly told you I wanted a family with you?"

"Jayj, I'm a profiler and I like to think I'm a pretty attentive girlfriend. I knew something was wrong…but I thought you were rethinking the adoption."

JJ pulled away from the brunette and turned to look into her eyes. "Sweetie, I wouldn't do that to you. Come here, I want to show you something."

Emily allowed herself to be pulled and seated at the large desk in the corner of the room. She hardly used it, but JJ had seemed content to make herself at home with it. She watched with curiosity as the blonde pulled a folder out of the tray and handed it to her.

"I put this here thinking one day you'd run across it. You hardly use your desk though, and when you do, you never go through my things. I know you too well to think you would, but I hoped, if by chance you did, it would prevent this conversation. Look at it Em."

Emily looked questioningly at her girlfriend, and then opened up the folder. The first stack of paper clipped papers was adoption papers, already drawn up to be signed and filed when ready. The next stack was JJ's Power of Attorney and Will. The Termination of Rights, signed by Rick, with Hotch and Garcia as the witnesses.

"JJ, is something wrong? The baby... you…is everything okay?" She asked, alarmed at finding the papers in with the rest.

"NO! Em, everything's fine, I promise. The adoption papers are self explanatory, except if you read them, you'll see it's not for sole custody like we had talked about. I changed my will and power of attorney the same day. We both know the danger we face at work sometimes, these are your copies. That way you'll always be able to get to me if I'm ever in the hospital. The Termination of Rights speaks for itself, thank God!"

"You're serious about this? We can be a family? No more saying we're going to wait until after the baby is born to make serious decisions?"

JJ smiled, "Honey, I pretty much moved in with you three months ago. We sleep together every night that you're not on a case, and even when you are, I'm still here. You made Hotch tell me I'm not allowed in the field anymore. If anyone else had done that, I would have shot them! I love you and you love me. I think our heart's have made the decisions already."

"Well then. I have one thing to say." Emily paused for a second with her trademark smirk, "There's no way we're naming this kid Elizabeth!"


	7. Honey, she does know you’re gay, right?

**Title:** Changes (7/8)  
**Author:** sofialindsay  
**Fandom:** Criminal Minds  
**Pairing:** JJ/Emily  
**Disclaimer**: As always, if I owned the characters, we'd be watching instead of reading  
**Rating: **R  
**Warning: **Spoilers for the upcoming episodes. Translated: If you don't want to know what's happening on the show, don't read this!  
**Summary:** Lesbian Drama at its Finest  
**AN: **Okay I lied. Here's Chapter 7…but Chapter 8 will not be posted before tomorrow!! Let it never again be said I am a tease!! And, again, the muse wanted humor.  
**AN2:** Thanks to my beta, darkbardzero for putting up with my near-constant freak-outs, my Paget obsession.  
**Archiving:** P&P, others ask.

_A month later_

"Lindsay? Oooh! What about Sofia?"

"NO! Emily, we're not naming this kid after your TV heroes! Or any of the characters of Harry Potter or Star Wars!"

The brunette profiler sighed and ran her fingers through the head of blonde hair in her lap. Less energy had probably gone into negotiating the Treaty of Paris, than what was going into arguing with JJ over baby names.

"Does that mean Draco is out?...Ouch! What was that for?"

Emily rubbed her quickly reddening arm; shocked her girlfriend had actually hit her. JJ glared at her almost frighteningly.

"We're not naming our kid Draco!! Draco Elizabeth doesn't sound right!"

"JJ, we're not using Elizabeth as a name. God, talk about giving my mother a complex! Not only would her daughter be named after her, but her granddaughter as well!"

JJ watched as Emily's expression changed and she began picking at the edge of the couch. "Have you told your mother yet?"

Emily shook her head, "She's in France. I can only get in contact with her assistant, and I hardly think this is something she needs to hear from him."

"Honey, she does know you're gay, right?"

"Yes Jayj, but I don't know if she accepts it or not. We haven't discussed it since the day I told…well more like screamed it at her and stormed out."

JJ frowned, "So you haven't even told her I've moved in with you?"

Emily knew JJ's moods were unstable at best and a train wreck at worse, right now. Choosing her words carefully, she explained, "Honey. She's out of the country. I haven't had a chance to tell her anything. She knows I love you though…I screamed that at her as well."

"You told her you loved me, before we were even together?" The blonde asked disbelievingly.

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"You goof! For all you knew I could have been straight and hated you!" JJ retorted, her laughter taking the edge off of her words.

Emily's full smile lit up her face as she slid her hand along JJ's very pregnant stomach and leaned down to kiss her. "Yeah, but you didn't."

"Mmm…and it's a good thing too. Especially since you think you're about to get lucky." JJ replied in between their kisses, but her train of thought was lost when Emily suddenly bolted upright.

"Sydney!"

JJ arched her eyebrow, "I don't know whether to take offense to that or not. One minute you're making out with me, the next you're calling out another woman's name."

The older woman rolled her eyes, "No JJ. Sydney. Let's name her Sydney."

"Sydney Elizabeth. I like it!"

"Honey, I love you. But for the hundredth time, we're not naming her Elizabeth!" Emily was set in her convictions that this baby would not bear her mother's name, and JJ almost laughed.

"Oh hon, we'll see about that. I'm pushing this kid out, I'm gonna get some say in the name!"


	8. Garcia…please tell me you didn’t?

**Title:** Changes (8/8)  
**Author:** sofialindsay  
**Fandom:** Criminal Minds  
**Pairing:** JJ/Emily  
**Disclaimer**: As always, if I owned the characters, we'd be watching instead of reading  
**Rating: **R  
**Warning: **Spoilers for the upcoming episodes. Translated: If you don't want to know what's happening on the show, don't read this!  
**Summary:** Lesbian Drama at its Finest  
**AN: **Thank you to all who have put up with 8 chapters of drama. My muse has taken a vacation apparently, but I'm still in the mood to write (does that make any sense?), so if anyone has any prompts/ideas, feel free to send them my way.  
**AN2:** Thanks to my beta, darkbardzero for putting up with my near-constant freak-outs, my Paget obsession and my complaints that there are no new stories to read.  
**AN3: **Thanks to csiladies, calliopesmuse, Steppenwolf29 and all the others for your kind comments.  
**Archiving:** P&P, others ask.

_A Month Later_

"EMILY!!"

The profiler bolted out of bed and ran towards the sound of her girlfriend's panicked voice, grabbing her gun out of habit on the way.

"Honey, what's wrong?" She immediately realized how brainless the question was, as JJ stood clutching her stomach in a pool of liquid.

"Em, my water just broke. I think this baby is coming _now!"_

"OH. Shit. I'll get your bag and call Garcia. Then we'll get you to the hospital."

An annoyed JJ watched with mild amusement as the normally collected agent ran around the condo in a frenzy. "Emily, the bag is in the hall, and your cell phone is next to your bed."

"Oh right. I knew that!" JJ shook her head as she watched her girlfriend run towards the bedroom.

"I love you Emily, but if you don't get me to the hospital for painkillers soon, I swear to God I'll shoot you!" She called after her.

"JJ, she's beautiful."

Emily paused from stroking her daughter's head and leaned down to kiss her girlfriend's forehead as she tried to keep the tears at bay. After seven hours of labor, their daughter had arrived, screaming at the top of her lungs to announce her presence. Her hand was still sore from JJ's death grip, and her arm had quite a few cuts from the younger woman's sharp nails, but now, watching her daughter sleep in JJ's arms, Emily knew it was well worth it.

"I know…she's perfect…C'mere, I want a real kiss after what I just went through!"

"What you went through? Honey, you cut me up and almost broke my hand! And I didn't have those nice painkillers you did!" Emily teased, before leaning down to give the blonde what she considered a real kiss.

A knock on the door made them pull apart, and Garcia bounced in, flanked by Hotch, Morgan and Reid.

"Hey Jayj! Let me see the little one!" Garcia wasted no time in removing the baby from JJ's arms and cuddling it to her, giving Morgan a glare when he reached for her.

"Don't give me that look, baby girl!" He replied, holding his hands up in mock surrender, "There's no way I'm trying to take that kid from you!"

"What name did you finally agree on?" Reid's voice broke through the bickering. JJ and Emily looked at one another and smiled, before Emily nodded to the younger woman.

"Sydney Erin-Elizabeth." JJ smiled at Hotch when he open and closed his mouth, apparently without anything to say. "Thank you, for everything."

"So when do I get a baby named after me?" Garcia broke in, causing everyone to laugh and effectively breaking the uneasy tension.

JJ scoffed, "Ask Emily, she's having the next one!"

Another round of laughter broke free, as Emily's eyebrows shot high into her forehead. "I don't think so!"

In the meantime, Morgan had successfully managed to pry Sydney out of Garcia's ironclad grasp, and was staring at the baby. "JJ, are you sure Prentiss isn't the father? She has your eyes, but her dark hair and face."

"Her eyes may change colors, most babies have blue eyes. Time will tell." JJ answered quietly, leaning back into Emily when she wrapped her arms around her. It had never been mentioned that Rick did indeed have several of Emily's features, and the blonde hated to be reminded.

"I don't care what your policies are! My daughter had my grandchild, I am a U.S. Ambassador, you and your trifling policies are not going to keep me out!"

The temperature in the room dropped at least ten degrees, as Emily's mother's voice carried throughout the hallway. The fear on Emily's face would have been laughable, had anyone taken time to notice. Leveling her gaze on the guilty-looking computer guru, she calmly spoke.

"Garcia…please tell me you didn't?"

"Um…." The eccentric blonde squeaked, "Maybe? Morgan give them the kid… let's get out of here! Good luck Jayj!"

Morgan quickly handed Sydney over to JJ, and followed Garcia out of the room. Hotch looked at his two agents guiltily. "I'm sorry, but seeing how the last confrontation with your mother went, I'm with them!"

Hotch quickly left the room, and JJ turned her attention to her girlfriend. "Honey, are you ready for this?"

Emily shook her head, secretly wishing she could join the rest of the team in escaping. Her mother's voice was getting closer, which meant a quick exit was impossible.

"Finally! You have no idea how hard it was to get a flight out of France on such short notice! I hardly expect to have as much difficulty getting in an American hospital to see my daughter!" Elizabeth Prentiss marched into the room, flanked by three nurses.

"Ma'am, we're so sorry. This…_lady_ wouldn't stop until she found you. She claims to be your… _mother_?"

JJ smiled sympathetically at the embarrassed nurses, "Its okay. She's Emily's mother. But could you hold all visitors until further notice?"

The Ambassador gave the nurses a look that could only be translated as 'I told you so,' and Emily bit back a chuckle. The nurse nodded, and left hurriedly with her colleagues.

"I don't understand you Emily. I leave for not even six months, and in that time, you manage to get married and have a baby! Talk about being busy! How on earth did you manage to get JJ pregnant?"

"Mother, I know you don't understand it. You were in France, and I couldn't get past your guard dog of an assistant. You knew I was in love with JJ. The rest, quite frankly, is none of your concern, except to say that I'm adopting Sydney. JJ and I are raising her as our own. I've accepted the circumstances behind her existence, and you shouldn't worry about it. She's just as much my daughter as JJ's."

Having been teasing her daughter, Elizabeth obviously was not expecting her daughter to be so vocal and steadfast on the issue, "Emily Elizabeth, don't take that tone with me. I'm not here to fight with you. I'm here to see my granddaughter that I was told about."

JJ saw Emily's shocked expression and gently nudged her. The brunette stood and took a sleeping Sydney from the blonde's arms, before handing her off to Elizabeth. Careful not to jar the younger woman, she took her seat on the bed behind JJ, letting her tired, sore lover lean back into her open arms again.

The Ambassador looked up from her granddaughter to her daughter and back again. She was stunned that the baby had the same nose and dark hair that the Prentiss line carried. "Emily…Jennifer, she's beautiful."

"Wait till she opens her eyes." Emily said with a smile, "Mother…no offense, but why are you here? I'm glad you are, but it's not like you."

Elizabeth looked at the sleeping baby in her arms, and when she looked up at her daughter, there were tears in her eyes. "I know I wasn't the perfect mother to you, but you are my only child. I want to establish some sort of relationship with you and Jennifer, and be there for my only grandchild, if you'll allow me."

Sensing Emily wasn't going to say anything, JJ spoke up with a smile. "I think we're both willing to try that. And her name Sydney Erin-Elizabeth, so you don't have to keep saying 'grandchild'."

Elizabeth smiled, as Sydney began to get fussy. "Thank you. I think someone's hungry. I should leave…Emily I'll call you next week. You know that the three of us will have to meet with Bernstein."

Emily nodded and, still not ready to hug her mother, cradled the fussy newborn before handing her to JJ. "I know. We'll discuss it later."

Still smiling, Elizabeth left the room, leaving a curious JJ staring at Emily. "What were you guys talking about? Who is Bernstein?"

"Bernstein is the family lawyer…my lawyer."

"But honey, we already have the adoption papers. Why do you need your lawyer?" JJ's confusion was tinted with something else Emily couldn't identify.

"Baby, by adoption, Sydney is a Prentiss. Our daughter just gained herself a trust fund…so did you." Emily explained bleakly, hoping JJ wouldn't get angry.

"Oh." JJ replied while watching her daughter, "I understand her having one, she's your daughter. But why me?"

"Apparently Mother likes you, to her, we're married and you're her daughter too. As long as we're together, you'll have the same funds I do. It's how our family works with the in-laws that we know aren't after our money. You never have to touch the money, if you don't want to. But it's there should you ever need it. If anything happens to me, my trust goes to you, and then to Sydney."

JJ blinked a few times, "That's a lot to wrap my head around. Em, you know I don't want your money."

The profiler laughed, "Honey I know that. It's just how our family works."

A comfortable silence settled over them as they watched their daughter sleep.

"You know, we never talked about her last name." JJ stated softly.

"Huh? I just assumed it would be Jareau." Emily honestly answered. There was no contempt in her voice, she had thought about this and had an idea of her own, if JJ were willing.

"You're adopting her though. I want us to be a family."

"This is just a suggestion, but what about Prentiss-Jareau?" Emily bit her lip, hoping JJ would agree.

JJ laughed, "The poor kid is going to have so many hyphens in her name, she'll hate us! But I like it…Em? What is it? You're holding something back."

"When we meet with Bernstein, what do you think about me changing my name to it?" Emily quietly replied, not looking at JJ.

"I think it depends. What do you think about me doing the same?" JJ smiled as the dark head shot up to look at her, "Oh honey, don't look so surprised. I hate the idea of a split family just as much as you do."

Smiling, Emily leaned down to kiss her partner while her daughter slept. "I love you JJ. And you'll never know how much I thank you for giving me this. You've given me the family I always wanted."

"I love you too baby. I think I do know…you've given me the same thing."


End file.
